? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
Randomize
