do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
Randomize
