somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize