Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
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