Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
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