I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Randomize
