Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
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