It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
