i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
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