I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
Let's paint friendship bongs
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
Randomize
