i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
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