I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
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