His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Randomize
