why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
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