What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
Randomize
