I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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