he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
farters have to be the big spoon...
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
Randomize
