OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
