...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
Four minutes until I can fart!
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
Randomize
