do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
i barfeds in our rink
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
