I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
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