I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
