I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
Randomize
