Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
