Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
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