I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
