i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
Randomize
