u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
Girls should come with a carfax report
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize