my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
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