when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
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