he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize
