fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
Randomize