I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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