You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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