I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
