Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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