I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
Dear god my vagina.
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