on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
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