and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
I don't deserve a penis
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
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