Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
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