I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Randomize
