Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
Randomize
