Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
Randomize
