i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
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