i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
Randomize
