Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Randomize
