i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
