my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
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