If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Randomize
