she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Randomize
