I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
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