I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
