Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
