If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
it glows. i had to have it.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
Randomize
