It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
I think your dad took our porno
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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