I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize