My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Randomize
