dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Randomize
