butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
Sorry about my life...
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
Randomize
