And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
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