Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
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