u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
