Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
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