awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
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