I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
Randomize
