the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Randomize
