I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
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