My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
Randomize