I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
