I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
party gras won. party gras always wins.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
Randomize
