when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
Randomize