Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
