Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
Randomize
