She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
Ran into my prostitute at Costco yesterday. She was with her boyfriend, I was with my kids. Awwwwkward.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
