he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
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