Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
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